"I Don't Think I Can Do This."

As this year of teaching in China began, I had many moments when I thought "I don’t think I can do this." There were many miscommunications with my Chinese co-teachers due to the language barrier that caused us to hit walls in building relationship, disciplining my students was challenging because of the differences in Eastern and Western education, and I was adjusting to the slower pace of life here, everything from having to travel at least an hour to get anywhere in Beijing, to having to make things from scratch if you want a Western meal, to not having very much technology in the classroom, meaning I had to make everything by hand.

However, the Father has given me the strength to pour into the lives of my co-teachers, the perseverance and wisdom to reach my students, and He's grown my love for Chinese people and culture. As my team and I have reached the finish line of our year here, my feelings have been ones of not wanting to leave. My team leader recently took a video of my Chinese co-teacher and I sharing what it has been like to work together this year. As tears filled my eyes before we began, I again said, from a whole new prospective, "I don’t think I can do this." It is difficult to leave people you love, not knowing if and when you will see them not just on this earth, but in our eternal home. I believe He will continue to move and work in their lives and even though it is totally not about me, I am sad I won't be here to experience that!

I have already have had my last class with one class today and I will have three more tomorrow. In my class today we took a class picture, watched a picture slideshow of all the things we've done together this semester, and I gave them a picture of me with a letter on the back. One-by-one the flood gates opened and it was an emotional day for all of us. At the end of class, they all ran to give lots of hugs and kisses and they wanted my autograph on the back of the picture I had given them. I will miss each sweet face and will cherish the memories and things I've learned from them in my first year of teaching.

I also had the students fill out information cards, including writing one of their favorite memories with me. It is always funny to see what students will write, especially EFL students. Here are some of my favorites:

"I like singing songs and watching Ms. Katie dance."
"I like her golden hair and green eyes."
"Ms. Katie go and I very sad."
"My favorite memory of Ms. Katie is help me to clean blackboard."
"You can play game in our every lesson."
"I love you because you are very beautiful."
"I like you because you love everyone in our class."

This year has been nothing less than one of great significance and I truly have discovered that teaching is my passion and what I was made for. I know He is calling me to the next task a little closer to home, in fact in the same school district I grew up in, as a third grade teacher at a school that is primarily Hispanic. I know I will enjoy working with these students and teachers and I look forward to meeting them.

I'm thankful for every step of the journey and many times this year I have reflected on this hymn. I believe I’ve shared it in a newsletter, but it brings me hope as even though there are feelings of pain and loss right now, our communion with the Father never changes wherever we are:

"If the path I travel
Lead me to the cross;
If the way Thou choosest
Lead to pain and loss;
Let the compensation
Daily, hourly, be
Shadowless communion,
Blessed Lord, with Thee."

Thanks for reading and being a part of the journey this year! Zai Jian!

A Time and a Season

With just one month of teaching and living in China to go, it is definitely the best and the worst season. I know "There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under the heavens," and I have truly been in the midst of living out the rest of this passage:

"a time to plant and a time to uproot": I feel settled and fully engaged in life in China, but soon it will be time to leave. I am excited to see family and friends and know the time of transition is a part of the process that will continue to grow and shape me as this year has.

"a time to weep and a time to laugh": It is a grieving process to leave students, teachers, teammates, the beauty of this culture, but yet embracing the moments with hugs from students, having Chinglish conversations with my roommate as we try to use what we've learned this year, and seeing a man walk his dog by grabbing it's front paw, while the dog hops along on it's hind legs- there is truly never a dull moment here!

"a time to mourn and a time to dance": As I realize how much I love my students, it is difficult to think I will not be here to watch them to continue to grow and be able to see the men and women they become. I am learning this is the special gift of a teacher, to share life with many. We continue to have dance practices for our upcoming Children's Day performance. The foreign and Chinese English teachers will be performing a hip-hop routine for the whole school on my birthday- I will get to have all my students yelling my name as they will be so excited to see me on stage!

"a time to search and a time to give up": While things are busily wrapping up here, I have been applying to teaching jobs back in the States, patiently waiting for postings and responses from principals. I've done the work I can at this point and now need to continue trusting He will provide the perfect opportunity at just the right time!

"a time to keep and a time to throw away": I've collected many things to bring back home that will remind me of my time in China, but as it becomes time to pack, there are many things I will need to leave behind- why did I bring so many clothes!?

"a time to be silent and a time to speak": As my Chinese co-teachers continue to deal with life issues and ask me questions about the Hope I have, I want to be a good listener, but also speak with urgency to share the One I turn to as they ask provoking questions.

I'm continually thankful for the gift of this year and want to invest well in these last few weeks, while beginning the process of having healthy goodbyes. I look forward to sharing more personal stories, pictures, and videos with you all and catching up your lives as well!

Performance Mode

This semester has been flying by and I can’t believe midterms have come and gone. It’s so encouraging to see progress- nearly all of my students, even the lower-level English students, improved on their midterm exam from the last test we took! Their behavior has also improved in the last couple of weeks, so 8 weeks to go and we are in a wonderful place. In addition to my own classes, recently the school has been ramping up recruitment for next year, so there are many kindergartens from different places in Beijing that come to have a “field trip” with their parents to see what our school has to offer. I have now probably taught at least 300 Chinese children “Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes” over the past few weeks in these open classes. I co-teach the lesson with a Chinese-English teacher and often feel like a prop as the parents are flashing their cameras at me, the foreign teacher, but it’s part of teaching in China!

This week, as we approached the celebration of Easter, my teammates and I had an Easter lunch for our Chinese co-teachers, complete with an Easter Egg hunt. We placed a piece of candy and a sentence from the Easter story in each egg. Before we enjoyed our spaghetti and meatball lunch, not exactly traditional I know, but easy and well-liked by Chinese people, we had the teachers read their sentences in chronological order so we could explain why we celebrate this holiday and the reason for our Hope. What an opportunity and delight to share this story with them and my students!

One interesting problem I have run into this past week was that we got a new student from Japan. Apparently he was born in America, so everyone expects he can speak English, but he moved to Japan when he was two and just moved to China. His parents are Chinese, but yet the student can’t speak Chinese or English, just Japanese, so we have no current way to communicate with him. The little that I’ve been able to understand about his situation is that he may have been displaced from Japan from the earthquake. My heart has gone out to him as he may have experienced some trauma and he has gone through this week without being able to express himself. The only thing he has been able or willing to tell me is his name. I think something from his story is missing and hopefully the Chinese teachers got to talk to his parents when they came to pick him up on Friday. My next approach to teaching him might just have to be through drawing pictures.

Many end of the year activities are going on such as a field trip, Sport’s Day, and Children’s Day. This week we will be going to a forest park somewhere in Beijing and I look forward to taking lots of pictures and hanging out with my students. I’m sure a picnic will happen just like last semester’s field trip with packaged chicken drumsticks, seaweed, and other foreign foods- at least this time I will be prepared! Sport’s day is kind of the equivalent of field day in America, except Chinese people really love to perform, more than showing their strength through sports, so each class is a different country and will be performing an aerobic style dance to music of that country. I have seen some of the classes practicing, including the 2nd graders dancing to a mega mix of Pirates of the Caribbean soundtrack music and Michael Jackson’s “Beat It,” and my 4th graders dancing to Justin Beiber’s “Baby.” All I can say is there are going to be a lot of cute Chinese children shaking their booties- I will be sure to catch it all on video! Children’s Day is highly celebrated here on June 1st and there will be another round of performances, including a hip hop routine put on by the foreign and Chinese English teachers. I really appreciate the value of performing in Chinese culture, as I get to relive my dance company days. I have to say this performance is going to be a little bit cooler than last semester’s High School Musical performance of “We’re All in This Together.” We have already begun dance rehearsals and in fact I felt like one of my students this past Friday as I went from teaching open classes, to dance rehearsal, to Chinese lessons, and then to Tai Chi lessons. The Kung Fu teacher at our school offered to teach Tai Chi to the foreign teachers so I learned the first few steps in this first lesson- it was a little more difficult than I expected and his advice was to “relax and try to feel the essence of Tai Chi.”

I think this season has definitely been my favorite from my year here so far, as I am thoroughly enjoying these beautiful spring days, deepening relationships, and really feeling a part of the school!

Beijing in Bloom

Spring has arrived in Beijing and I am thoroughly enjoying the warmer weather and beautiful cherry blossoms blooming across the city. I continue to be amazed at how hard the students work here at our school, even at the primary level. There are things about their work ethic that are admirable, but when I ask my students "what did you do this weekend?" and all they can say is "I did my homework and played computer games," I just want to take them outside to enjoy the weather and focus on something else besides school. If only I could have class outside! I can't believe I only have one more unit to teach before my year of living in China is up- we have a lot to do before then, including midterm and final exams, but some fun things like a field trip and a Children's Day performance and day of fun as this is a big holiday in China.
I am sure more unexpected things will happen as well, such as this past week when I got asked to teach "open classes" with one of the Chinese english teachers. As the school is recruiting new students, they allow kindergartners and their parents from different parts of the city to come for visits so they can experience classes and life at our school. I was told I would be teaching these classes the night before the lessons would take place, but last minute decisions no longer phase me after living here for 9 months! We taught "head, shoulders, knees, and toes" along with other body parts in fast-paced 25-minute lessons to about 120 kindergartners in the past two days. The parents and grandparents were in the classroom as well, snapping pictures the whole time, so I am sure I will be in some of these families photo albums for years to come!
Next week I get to teach about Easter! We will be following up from our Christmas lesson and look more at His life and the hope he has given us. I am excited for this opportunity, especially for one of my students that I just found out has a parent that is very sick. He is one of my higher level students and I just started a written conversation journal with him. I hope to be able to encourage him through this.
One funny story from this week was that I found out I've been saying something wrong in Chinese this whole year. To ask someone for help, you should say "Ni kiye ban wo ma?" and I often have my students help me set things up when I arrive to the classroom so I will ask them in Chinese. However, I've been pronouncing it "Ni kiye bao wo ma?" which means "Can I hold/hug you?" Of course they are so adorable and I love giving them hugs anyways, but my students have been gracious with me in my language learning endeavor. They get very excited whenever I speak Chinese in class and I love to shock and awe them with the little Chinese I know. Zai jian goodbye)!

Funny Student Stories

1: My opening routine this semester is to have a question of the day that we discuss by thinking about the answer, pairing with a partner, and then sharing with the class (think, pair, share!). It’s been a great way to get them thinking and speaking in English from the beginning of class. On my Mondays my question is usually, “what did you do this weekend?” and most students reply “I did my homework”, “I played computer games”, “I went to the park.” This particular Monday my new student, who is a lovely girl from Thailand that has a very high level of English, said “I went to a coffee shop and I drank coffee.” What a sophisticated weekend this little 4th grader had!
2: Another one of my higher level students that I teach also use to be in my activity class last semester(a special class I co-teach with a couple of my teammates once a week that has an English focus but we can basically do whatever we want. This semester we are doing a “through the decades” theme which has been a lot of fun! We teach a song and dance from the time period and talk about some of the major events and inventions during that particular decade…I’m in charge of the dance each week so we’ve done The Charleston and swing dance for the 1920’s and 1930’s!). This particular student is one that always makes me laugh and we can actually have a full English conversation, however he is not in my activity class this semester. I saw him in the hallway the day after our first activity class of the semester and said “Why are you not in my activity class anymore!? I will miss getting to talk with you.” Very sincerely he replies in his cute Chinese-English accent “Ms. Katie, I know, I know. I am sorry I have signed up for a different class and I cannot be in two places at once, you see. You teach me for regular English class this afternoon though, thank you very much!” And off he went down the hallway as I am laughing to myself.
3: Our office shares a wall with the 6th grade boys bathroom and one day we were all focused on lesson planning and such so it was pretty quiet until we hear a 6th grade boy belting out “We are the world, we are the children” opera style. People of all ages in this country just love Michael Jackson!
4: Another funny but mischievous story is of a student in my class who drew on my pants. I am laughing right now because it’s so ridiculous! I was leaning down to help her with an assignment and I sort of felt something on the back of my leg and she smiled a little smirk at me, but I didn’t really think anything about it as I was trying to get to the other 32 students in the class to help them too. When I got home from school I noticed the big black pen line down my khaki pants and immediately knew who the perpetrator was. I put the pants in a bag to bring as evidence to confront her with the next day. I found her between classes and pulled her aside in the hallway and asked her if she had drawn on the pants. I had a note prepared for her to copy that my roommate helped me compose (we were laughing the whole time as we wrote it) that said something along the lines of “Ms. Katie, I am sorry I wrote on your pants. I know it is difficult to get pen out of clothing. I was not being respectful when I made the choice to do that and I will not do it again.” She denied her actions, but then I started singing the “Honesty Song” we have been learning, as honesty is our character focus this month. I asked her “Are you being honest and telling the truth?” She continued to say she didn’t do it, so I figured if anything I scared her a little bit and got the chance to share with her a little more about the importance of honesty.
Even though they can be troublesome at times, I am incredibly thankful for my student’s laughter, hugs, and the joy they bring to my life. I will miss their cute Chinese faces and the funny way some things translate when they speak. I don’t want to take for granted this precious time I have left with them this semester!

A Snowy Start

Time flies when you are having fun! During my month of off school, I was keeping busy by traveling around Beijing and Hong Kong and attending our organizations annual conference in Thailand to gear up for another semester of teaching! My parents were able to come and visit me during this time and I was so thankful they made the trip to see me. Although the students had already gone home for the holiday prior to their arrival, it was great for my family to tour the school, and to meet my teammates and fellow Chinese teachers. They got to see a glimpse of my life here and experience Chinese culture!
This past Sunday night came with sounds of rolling suitcases and parents dropping off their children to begin a new semester. Thus far, things are going very smoothly…a little too smoothly. I was expecting my students to have a hard time transitioning back to speaking English since the majority of them don’t speak it at home, but they have jumped right back into the language. I was only away from China for a couple of weeks, and it was hard for me to come back and begin speaking Mandarin again, so I have been very impressed with them. From my teams experience last semester, our school often likes to change the schedule, often times at the last minute, but we have only had a couple of changes this week so we have been pleasantly surprised! It has definitely been great reconnecting with our Chinese co-teachers and students and I am excited to continue investing and building wonderful memories this semester!
One thing that challenged me from our conference was that “students do not see all the preparation you put into a lesson, they only see you for the class period you are teaching, so what are you putting more energy into?” Last semester I think I was doing great with the planning of every detail and being over prepared, but by the time the class period came to teach the lesson, I was exhausted. My goal this semester is to be more balanced in this and to be more conscious of my energy level and enthusiasm during my classes. I have already learned from last semester that I really don’t enjoy teaching EFL as much as content subjects to elementary students in the States, so this makes this goal more difficult, but I know this is what He has given me to do in this season, and I want to do it well. I want to be more balanced in life in general as well. I am seeing how being a first year teacher can be all-consuming if you choose for it to be, but already this week I am doing better- I have not brought anything home with me from my office to work on after school. (Ok, one class of grading but that is all!) Honestly, I feel a little lazy, but I know I will be a better teacher if I am balanced.
Our first weekend back into the semester has been one of much needed rest as I’m still adjusting, getting the swing of things. On Saturday morning I awoke to snow- it may not stick around for too long but I’m enjoying the beautiful view out my window!

Xin Nian Kaui Le

I hope everyone is having a great 2011 so far! As many of you are coming off of holiday breaks, I am just about to begin mine. This is our last week of school until February 21st. I gave my final exams (oral, listening, and written) last week and whipped through the grading of 136 exams and calculating final grades so most of my work for the semester is done and yes, it is a good feeling. Although we are still “teaching” this week I expect to have some of my classes taken from me as the students are busy preparing for finals in other subjects. I am planning for whatever lessons I do get to teach this week to be a fun time of reflection for my students and me. I have put together a slideshow of pictures from this semester and I want them to reflect on the things they learned in our class, what they have liked about it, and what they want to learn about next semester. I will also be giving out awards to the students who got a 100% on the final exam and an A in my class which hopefully will serve as a reward for these students and as motivation for the others who did not do so well.
Looking back over the semester, I know I have grown an immeasurable amount as a teacher and a person. The first couple of months were not easy and I often questioned if I could really handle the differences in educational systems and cultures. Now, not a day goes by that I don’t give him thanks for this amazing opportunity to be living, working, and serving in another country. I know it is not something to take for granted that I get to be surrounded by some the most beautiful children in the world (troublesome at times, yes) and do my best to live out each day focused on how I can pour into their lives and the lives of my co-teachers. I am sure next semester will have challenges, but overall it is going to be so nice to come back from the break knowing my students, knowing the curriculum, and having a better understanding of how the school runs and how to communicate most effectively with Chinese co-teachers. I anticipate that having a stronger grip on the teaching side of things will allow me to be even more focused on relationships and I look forward to seeing his faithfulness continuing as he has already opened many doors. One fun goal I have for next semester is to get more involved in the dance department and maybe assist in some dance classes that my 4th grade girls attend. I’m not going to lie, as “the foreigners” we already get a lot of attention and our High School Musical performance, “We’re All in This Together” that we did for the school last week pretty much made me feel like a pop star! I miss dancing so it will be a way for me to live out that passion and spend more time with my students.
There are a lot of exciting things going on during the break and it will be nice to take a mental break, but I will definitely miss not seeing my students for over a month, so I will be spending as much time as I can getting extra hugs and time with them this week. My parents will be arriving on January 21st and we will spend 10 days in Beijing and then 5 days in Hong Kong for Chinese New Year! I can’t wait to see my family and for them to experience China. I am also excited to get to see how the biggest Chinese holiday is celebrated, especially since it will be the year of the rabbit and I am a rabbit according to the Chinese calendar. My parents and I will depart each other in Hong Kong, as they will head back to The States and I, along with 700 other teachers from my organization, will be travelling to Thailand for a mid-year conference. I can’t wait for the warmth and nature of Thailand (city life in Beijing is fun, but I haven’t seen much green or trees in several months now) fellowship, and time of refreshment!